No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
