I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize