i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
