Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize