just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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