so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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