Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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