Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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