So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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