I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
