Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he's gonorrhea incarnate
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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