TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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