I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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