'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
