She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
