nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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