laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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