bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
