Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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