I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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