i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
