Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
