Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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