I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
