I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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