the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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