I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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