If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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