evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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