Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
