You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
