The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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