She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
