when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
