You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
