You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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