you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
