Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
