Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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