i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
did i just pee glitter
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
