I could have mohawked her pubes.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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