If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
