I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
