I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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