That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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