You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
