I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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