We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
