Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
