i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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