i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
