Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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