its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
