Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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