she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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