Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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